If you write and no one reads it, did you really say anything at all?

I’ve been blogging for roughly six months now. I’ll admit that my first blog posts were in the form of email drafts. They were basically thoughts or memories that I wanted to jot down, but I didn’t exactly know what to do with them. Several months ago I attended a baby shower with a group of my high school best friends. One of them encouraged me to think about what I would do for a career if money, benefits, hours, and commute didn’t matter. If I could be anything I wanted to be, what would it be? This question has stuck with me since then. I feel silly even typing those words because shouldn’t I know that by now? Next week I’ll enter the last year of my twenties… and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up?!

Currently I work full-time at a job that I’ve gotten very good at. I wouldn’t say that I’m passionate about my work, but I get the job done accurately and on-time. I have friendly co-workers and I have learned a lot about interacting with people at all levels of the corporation. I have great benefits, work one mile from my kid’s school, am off by 4pm on most days, and rarely ever have to work weekends or holidays. If something comes up unexpectedly and I need to take time off, my managers have never made a fuss about it. All in all, I’ve got it pretty good. So why mess with a good thing?

Since I was little I have always enjoyed writing. Oftentimes I am much better at writing than I am at speaking. I am not the most outgoing person you’ll ever meet and I am completely uncomfortable being the center of attention. (I even suggested that Blake walk down the aisle at our wedding because I couldn’t handle the thought of 100 people looking right at ME!) It was this passion for writing that led me in college, while my advisors were breathing down my neck to declare a major, to decide to major in English. I focused on Professional and Technical Writing rather than Journalism or Literature because I have never seen myself as a reporter, journalist, or best-selling author. I’d much rather write just for fun. It helps that I can also write a professional-sounding email when put to task. But when my friend posed that question to me, my mind immediately went back to my love of writing and lack of crop since college.

It was after that baby shower that I started this blog. At first, I just copied those ramblings out of my email drafts and pasted them into a post. Then, when something came up, I’d write about it. I did this time and time again (23 times to be exact) before I ever even let anyone in on this secret. Sometimes it was an event or party that we attended and other times it was a thought that stuck with me all day until I wrote it down. A few times, it was a recipe that I loved and wanted to share. The problem was that I wasn’t sharing it with anyone. A few Saturdays ago, as I sat skimming through this little blog, I got up the courage to share it. I wrote out a little email, included my URL, and hit “Send” before I was able to change my mind. Granted, I only sent it to roughly six people, mostly all family, but there was something freeing about being able to open up in ways outside my comfort zone. I even heard back from a few people that they feel like they know me better since reading my thoughts. I didn’t ask if that was a good or bad thing, I just took it as good as pressed on.

I don’t foresee my dream career as a blogger – my life is not that interesting. But I have found this to be a great outlet to speak my mind and share the things in life that fill my heart. It’s also helped revive my love for writing that I thought was mostly long gone. So while I continue to search for what I want to be when I grow up, I’ll share my life and love along the way.

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