I’ve been very blessed in my life. Since coming to know Jesus in my late teens/early twenties, I have noticed His grace and favor over me tenfold. (PAUSE BUTTON: I did not have a groundbreaking, ask-Jesus-into-my-heart-and-I-am-immediately-changed kind of salvation. It took me some time – okay, years – to really embrace who God is and let Him change me. Therefore, I do not have an “I was saved on this day” marker in my life. Okay, that’s a separate post altogether…) I have a fabulous family, I absolutely adore my in-laws, and we’re all relatively health. I have a good job and my kids go to an incredible school. My husband’s business continues to grow and remains successful. I love my life and I am very aware of how good I have it. I’m not telling you this to brag, but rather to help you understand why I have such guilt when it comes to asking for help.
I rarely ask for help, and sometimes I don’t even accept help when it’s offered. What do I have to stress about? All of my needs are met. Why do I feel so overwhelmed at times? We’re never given more than we can handle, right?! But we all fall apart sometimes. When I reach my breaking point and can’t go another minute, I feel like I’ve failed.
When I was pregnant with Cameron and realizing all of the responsibilities that come along with being a momma to TWO little ones, I started accepting all of the help that was offered. I even started asking for help. I quickly realized that I have a lot of people in my life that are more than willing to help out, they just didn’t know I needed it! Blake doesn’t mind doing the dishes or making dinner so that I can play with the kids or take a long shower. And sometimes, he’ll even offer to fold the laundry! If my mom pops over and I’m busy chasing the kids around, she’ll wash the dishes or wipe down the counters.
I think there is a type of stigma that goes along with being a mom. Our kids need to look neat. Our birthday parties should look like we hired a party planner. Our homes should be camera ready at all times. You should be able to eat off our floors. And all of our meals should look like they were prepared in a gourmet restaurant.
Let’s be real here. Toddlerhood is a tough beast to tame. Times that by 2, add in a full time job and a home to run and we soon realize that we are not Martha Stewart! So I put aside the feelings of failure that try to creep up when I can’t keep up, and I realize that I don’t have to be Supermom to be a good mom. And that’s really all I need to be.
I’m over trying to be the best mom on the block, and I’m focusing on what works for our family. We may not have the tidiest house, but it’s clean. If the kids get to school without a “new” stain on their clothes, than I’m happy. And after dinner, you’re more likely to find me playing on the living room floor with my kids and husband rather than looking for something to scrub. That can wait, they cannot.
Do you ever feel like you could use a helping hand? Do you ask for it?